In Enneagram work, what matters is not so much what we do, but why we do it. Each type is characterized by a core motivation, and even though each core motivation tends to produce, on occasion, similar behaviors across different individuals, relying too much on the what instead of the why can lead us astray.
A Type Two, for instance, might very well be constantly distracted by ideas on how to make themselves useful to others as a way of eliciting love, affection or appreciation. Fives may also try to make themselves useful, but this is usually done in order to boost their sense of being intelligent or capable, that is, of proving to themselves that they are not inept. Of course, the style in which the help is delivered also varies: Twos tend to be personable and warm, while Fives are generally concentrated on giving others facts or conceptual tools.
In many Enneagram groups, a useful exercise is simply that of settling into a meditation, with one’s attention kept on a short leash, and then becoming aware of where the attention naturally drifts to. Our core mechanism is so ingrained in us that it often takes conscious effort to act contrary to it, and even then, the mechanism that we push out of the door comes back through the window (the typical example is that of a Two who consciously tries not to be helpful, and ends up justifying it to himself or herself by saying “so I can catch my breath to be more helpful in the future”).
This exercise is very useful, but we need, again, not to concentrate too much on the what. Sometimes our attention is caught by thoughts that appear random, but once the motivation behind those thoughts is questioned, the Enneatype becomes clear. For instance, a Three’s attention during meditation may drift toward some kind of task that they need to complete, or even simply to what they are going to eat for lunch. There is nothing inherently specific in any of these thoughts, but often the Three will have these thoughts as a reflection of their mechanism, e.g., they may think about what to have for lunch so they can cross that item off their mental to-do list and optimize their schedule.
That being said, there is also another risk, and that is of becoming so fixated on catching ourselves in the act that we forget to live life. Our character is not a curse. It can become one if we wrap it too tightly around our life, but as long as we learn to wear it loosely and see it with some irony, it actually affords us gifts, tools and opportunities.
MQS
