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Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons – Type Five and Type Six

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Enneagram Type Five and Enneagram Type Six belong both to the Head triad, yet they give off markedly different energies. Fives actively employ their Head energy, using it to make sense of the world from a distance. Sixes often suppress their Head energy, don’t trust their own judgment and seek someone or something that will explain reality to them.

Being both Head types, both Fives and Sixes deal at their core with fear of the world around them. Fives thus retreat from the world into the safe realm of their own intellect, from which they observe life without being touched by it. It is often held that Fives are taking time off from real life in order to look for something, an idea or strategy, with which they may join the others and be useful or have a fighting chance, but while some great Fives really do come up with revolutionary ideas that changed the world, most Fives become lost and almost hooked on their own thinking power.

Sixes deal with fear differently. They don’t trust their own mind, so they seek structures outside of them, whether social, political, religious or other kind. For them, life is a sea of difficult choices, risks and dangers, a place where nothing seems certain. They therefore become engaged in an endless quest for the person, idea, group or thing that will give them clear answers that they don’t need to question anymore. Once they have found (or if they find) something that stands up to their scrutiny, they espouse it with militant fervor.

Fives tend to be philosophical and rational (though not always reasonable). Their approach to ideas and concepts is seldom practical, and they tend build up mental constructs not to employ them but to sharpen their overactive mind’s claws on them. Their attitude toward ideas is often playful and nihilistic. Sixes on the other hand are more practically oriented because their sense of fear is less rarefied and is almost palpable, as if they needed to actually survive from moment to moment. Their attempt at tearing down ideas and concepts is not playful at all: they keep poking holes in everything in hopes of finding the one thing where holes cannot be poked.

From a social standpoint, the difference between Fives and Sixes is often marked. Fives are withdrawn, remote, aloof. Even at average levels they are often socially inept, nor do they care to work on this aspect of their life, as they consider it inessential. Sixes, on the other hand, while often questioning people’s motivations, put on a friendly and even cheerful facade, because they are aware of how important networking is in dealing with the uncertainties of the world.

In reality, both Fives and Sixes are mistrustful of people. However, as far as Fives are concerned, rather than mistrusting people’s motives, like Sixes do, they tend to mistrust other people’s ability to understand reality better than them. On the other hand, a Six’s skepticism is generally oriented at people’s loyalties and competence in providing answers the Six can rely on. For instance, in an educational context, a Six pupil may not believe the teacher is good and is, in a way, faking it, while a Five pupil will often think they are better.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons – Type Four and Type Nine

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Enneagram Type Four and Enneagram Type Nine can occasionally appear similar, but are actually quite different. Fours are a Heart type, and are primarily concerned with finding someone who will see them in their woundedness. Nines are a Body type, and are focused especially on maintaining their own independence, which they achieve by avoiding causing trouble with other people.

Broadly speaking, both types tend to have a vivid inner life, though Fours generally entertain negative emotions and often play intense, tragic, tear-jerking scenarios in their minds to evoke certain feelings. On the contrary, Nines often become lost in vague and comforting ideas that they play again and again to be reassured that all is well.

Both types tend to be withdrawn, but in vastly different ways. Nines are withdrawn in the sense that they often suppress their own energy and agenda in order to avoid it colliding with that of others. As such, they appear accomodating and self-denying, though it is common knowledge that Nines generally employ a high degree of passive resistance to sabotage other people’s attempt at heralding change into their life. Still, their way of withdrawing their energy can make them appear (even to themselves) friendly and welcoming.

Fours, on the other hand, are withdrawn because they feel they don’t belong and are too broken to be understood. They tend to long for meaningful contact but at the same time despair of finding it. Their strategy is often of attracting people who will see them as suffering. Though they are often quiet, their emotional storminess at times of distress puts off others, whom they are usually not afraid of inconveniencing if it means letting them know how the Four truly feels.

Both Fours and Nines tend to have a hard time finding their “center”. Fours often struggle with their own identity (believing that they are the only ones with such problems) and generally end up playing up certain aspects of their inner life (especially negative traits or emotions) in an attempt to conjure up a stable identity. Nines also find it hard to have a defined identity, but more in the sense that they have few clearly set boundaries toward other people’s agendas and desires. They often end up flowing along with others (as long as the others also don’t rock the boat), something Fours find almost impossible to do.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons – Type Four and Type Seven

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Enneagram Type Four and Enneagram Type Seven are quite different from one another, and not easy to confuse. Fours are a Heart type whose main focus is on what’s missing and what they are lacking. Sevens are a Head type, and they are generally focused more on finding exciting ways to fill up their time to distract them from life’s unpleasant aspects.

In general, Fours tend to have a relatively pessimistic view of life, and especially of their own life. Sevens are not necessarily optimistic, but they do tend to seek distraction from the negative side of things, which they usually acknowledge only in their more sober moments.

Fours tend to see beauty in what they don’t have, which is the basis of their envy. Some Fours may not even know what it is that they feel they are missing, they just know they don’t have it. They tend to focus on the past (what is lost and unrecoverable). Sevens on the other hand have an anticipatory mindset (they are the “looking forward to” type), whereby they get hyped about new possibilities for enjoyment. Fours can also focus on the future, but they also often know from experience that when the future comes, if it comes at all, it is generally a letdown.

Experience

Fours and Sevens are also very different around people. Sevens are people magnets, even when they don’t want to be. Stuff just tends to happen around them. Fours are usually ill-at-ease around people, though they long for contact and meaningful relationships. Furthermore, Sevens generally don’t question people’s motives too much unless they are given reason to, whereas Fours often overinterpret people’s behavior around them as a negative reaction to them and as proof that they don’t belong and are misunderstood (note that Four’s overinterpretation is different from, say, a Six’s questioning of people’s motives).

It is not rare for both Fours and Sevens to appreciate peculiar experiences and have a marked aesthetic appreciation. Sevens tend to have a quick pace, and they usually “eat life” at a high speed. While they can have a small handful of favorite activities, they are generally on the go and will always incorporate new ones into their routine to avoid it getting stale. They also tend to be somewhat hedonistic and materialistic.

Fours, on the other hand, usually like to savor a more limited range of things and activities for a more protracted period of time, tend to have a slower pace and are less materialistic and more concentrated with depth, as they tend to have an almost spiritual dedication to their practices. This is not to say that Sevens are necessarily shallow (though less healthy Sevens certainly are). Many Sevens can extract all there is to extract from something in a very short time and then move on collecting new experiences. The moving on part is what Fours struggle with, as they often feel the need to create and recreate the same kind of experience to evoke certain (usually negative) feelings.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Four and Type Six

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Enneagram Type Four and Enneagram Type Six share some similarities in spite of focusing on entirely different things. Fours are a Heart type, whose deep desire for authentic connection is only equaled by their feeling unable to find someone who will truly see them in their uniquely flawed nature. Sixes are a Head type, and their need to be reassured is equaled only by their inability to trust anything they or anyone else say.

Both types can have a generally negative view of the world. Fours believe themselves to be flawed and disadvantaged and feel that they don’t belong because they lack something other people have. Sixes are negative because they are used to questioning everything that is apparently good until they have managed to squeeze something that can be considered iffy or untrustworthy out of it, and see the world as a dangerous, or at least precarious place.

However, Fours are unapologetic in their pessimism, whereas Sixes may often try to tone it down or even suppress it in order to ingratiate themselves to others (they can even come off as upbeat) to build up friendships and alliances. In general, Sixes don’t like putting others off because they subconsciously don’t want to make enemies, whereas Fours generally don’t like behaving in a way that is not authentic to how they truly feel.

Indeed, the theme of authenticity is a leitmotif for both Fours and Sixes. Sixes want someone or something to explain reality to them in a way that leaves no place for doubt and fear, even if that means identifying threats or enemies (in fact, average Sixes love to be told who or what their enemy or threat is). One of their great fears is of being lied to, or of coming into contact with people who keep their real agenda secret to them. They also fear that people won’t tell them the truth to avoid hurting them, but because they have a very good nose, Sixes often can smell something is off.

Uncertainty

Average Fours do not so much fear lack of authenticity as they feel disdain for it, and are often unable to bring themselves to play socially accetaple roles if that means not being true to themselves.

Another similarity lies in the fact that both Fours and Sixes often feel a great deal of confusion within themselves. In spite of being a Head type, Sixes often come off as emotional and stormy. This is due to their lack of trust in their own judging ability, which sometimes leads them to drowning in a glass of water. Sixes would love to be told the clearcut truth, but as soon as they are presented with (one version of) it, they begin picking the black and white apart until a chaotic mess of shades of gray is left.

Fours also feel a great deal of confusion, but this is due more to their inability to pin their own personal identity down to a specific set of characteristics, because they always end up discovering a part of themselves that doesn’t fit any definition.

An important difference between the two types comes from the fact that Sixes tend to be sturdy, gregarious and friendly, whereas Fours are generally individualistic and delicate and experience great difficulties fitting in. Secretly, Fours may envy people who do fit in, but outwardly they often show contempt. On the other hand, Sixes may admire people who manage to stand out, but they generally deem it safer to fall back in line.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Four and Type Five

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Enneagram Type Four and Enneagram Type Five are, on paper, extremely different, yet they end up sharing a number of similarities. Fours are a Heart type whose main focus is on what makes them uniquely deficient in life and on attracting someone who will see them and love them in their brokenness. Fives are a Head type, preoccupied with security and with trying to overcome their ineptitude in facing life’s unpredictability and problems.

Fives are on the quest for pure objectivity, completely devoid of the dross of personal belief, feeling, hopes and desires. Fours are possibly the most subjective type in the Enneagram, whose attention always goes to their particular emotional reaction to life.

Both Fours and Fives share an often deeply negative view of reality and have no problem facing the dark side of life. Both are individualistic and ‘odd’ by social standards and don’t care if what they do or say isn’t accepted or common. Fours tend to defy conventions because they are primarily concerned with being true to themselves, while Fives defy conventions because they derive pleasure from the iconoclastic process of disruption. Fours are primarily existentialists, Fives are primarily nihilists, though of course there is some overlap.

Both types interpret the theme of aloneness, albeit in different ways. Type Four represents the single heart, with its ability to feel, to explore emotions of all shades and to create worlds of great beauty and meaning, longing for someone or something. Type Five is the single mind, with its ability to think, to explore concepts of all degrees of subtlety and to erect magnificent cathedrals of philosophical thought, only to smash them to bits like a kid would a sand castle.

Individual

For both types it is extremely important to be given space for self-expression, both dislike canned views and highly value individualism and creativity, and both types find themselves by difference from the world around them: Fours feel they are uniquely flawed and are on a quest to find themselves, their identity and their meaning, Fives feel that they can’t count on anything or anyone but their own mind and are on a quest to crack open the ultimate secrets of life.

That being said, there are also a number of differences. Fives are rarely very expressive of their feelings (which doesn’t mean they don’t have them), unless they have worked a lot on themselves, and even then it is often a conscious exercise. Fours are naturally expressive and they are capable of great emotional honesty in all circumstances, even if it’s uncomfortable for others. On the other hand, Fives are naturally cool-headed and always cut through endless layers of emotional nonsense in one fell swoop to reach the logical core of any situation, while Fours can only do so by consciously learning to disengage from their emotional reactions when it is not helpful to cling to them.

Even the way the two types are self-oriented is different. Fours are self-oriented because they relate everything to their experience of life, their pain, their longings, their particular idiosyncrasies, etc. Fives are self-oriented because they relate everything to their own ability to analyze it, without automatically accepting what anyone else has to say about it.

Both types tend toward pessimism, but with different motivations and implications. Fours are pessimistic about themselves and their life, believing they are unlucky or broken or that they have messed up somehow. Fives tend to be cosmic pessimists, that is, they observe the nature of things in a pessimistic or nihilistic light.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Three and Type Nine

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Enneagram Type Three and Enneagram Type Nine are quite different in almost all regards, so much so that they are each other’s arrow on the Enneagram symbol. Threes are a Heart type and are focused on gaining validation and approval for their merits and talents, while Nines are a Body type, concerned with independence, which they try to scure by not causing trouble with others.

Threes are highly driven, ambitious and combative, and they want to excel and to emerge above others as worthy of praise. By contrast, Nines tend to be meek, easygoing, conciliatory and ready to take a step back to allow others to shine.

More deeply, Threes have accepted a certain image of themselves which has been handed down to them by society or parental figures and they run with it until it brings them validation (or a nervous breakdown). Nines, on the other hand, often suppress their own individuality, their own priorities and their own agenda for fear of it setting them on a collision course with others. This is not to say that Nines are inert: they can lead very active lives, but they are usually undemanding and unwilling to stand out for their own sake.

Identity

Surprisingly, the two types do have one similarity. Threes often fight with the inner feeling of not truly knowing who they are, a troubling sensation that the image they submit to the world for a stamp of approval does not truly encapsulate them. Usually they try not to think too much about it, which is in part why they are so driven and motivated in accomplishing their goals, but when this feeling catches up to them it can lead them to an identity crisis.

Nines can also find it hard to pinpoint themselves, but for a different reason: they instinctively feel that to emerge as an individual with a specific identity or mission means cutting themselves off from an all-encompassing merging with a greater whole, whether this greater whole be God, a social group, married life, etc. In other words, Threes may not know who they are and fear this sensation, while Nines dread having a sharp separate identity pushed onto them.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Three and Type Eight

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Enneagram Type Three and Enneagram Type Eight share a number of traits that can make them similar in some contexts. Threes are a Heart type and focus on obtaining recognition for their talents. Eights are a Body type and concentrate on establishing and defending their own independence. Both types are action-oriented, energetic and highly driven, but there are also some key differences.

Both Threes and Eights want to tower over others and emerge, and therefore develop a strong character and sharp and even ruthless strategies. Furthermore, both enjoy admiration. However, Threes want to emerge above others in order to comply with some kind of ideal image of themselves as perfect or excellent, and this image is usually dictated by social, or at least familial, standards. In this sense, Threes are social comformists and fear public rejection greatly.

Eights, by contrast, care little about the court of public opinion and are more maverick-like in their demeanor. While they do like being admired, they can content themselves fearful awe they need to. Their focus is on forcing their own particular energy onto the world, leading it on a leash so as to neutralize its power on them.

leadership

Compared to average Threes, average Eights are less refined and tend to have a “me use club against you” mentality, whereas Threes are sharper and can be more underhanded. Note that this has nothing to do with intelligence (which is independent of type) but with how one’s energy is directed. Eights’ energy bursts vehemently and directly outward, and as long as it knocks down the adversary, all is well, while Threes are more strategic because, ultimately, their source of energy is outside of them, locked inside the social expectations they seek to fulfill.

Another great difference stems from the fact that Eights have a visceral connection to ideas such as justice and truth. Similarly to some other types, Eights feel they are authentic and true and immediately just and fair, while Threes often panic at the idea of being unmasked as fraudsters peddling a scam, even when there is no apparent cause. Neither of these worldviews is necessarily true, but Eights embody their chosen role immediately, while Threes often feel they are wearing a mask and are generally unable to say what’s underneath it, so they hope to sell it well to others.

Both Eights and Threes can be very good leaders. Of the two, Eights tend to more authentically look out for their proteges’ interests, often going out of their way and to great pains to make life easier or better for them. Threes tend to give the good example, and relish in being seen as role models. Although they are of course capable of caring deeply for others, average Threes are less likely to be willing to do something for them if it means stepping out of the limelight. On the other hand, they are more image conscious than Eights, and can teach this awareness to others.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Three and Type Seven

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Enneagram Type Three and Enneagram Type Seven can on occasion be lookalikes, so distinguishing them may be treaky. Threes are a Heart type, and seek recognition for their (real or perceived) merits and for their excellence. Sevens are a Head type, concerned with achieving security by filling their life with distractions and exciting projects.

Let us never forget that the quest for recognition is part of our human makeup: it is how we work as social beings, regardless of our Enneagram Type. The same can be said for security and for looking out for exciting new things. Everyone needs security.

Threes, though, are essentially social in their psychological framework, even when they are introverted, simply because their usual way of acting is aimed at meeting criteria that have been set up for them by society or family. Thus, their actions and plans always imply the presence of other people, even when those people are not there. Sevens, on the other hand, may very well attract colorful and interesting people due to how they behave and may enjoy their praises, but they are ultimately interested in filling their lives with novelty and excitement to avoid looking at what they fear or causes them pain.

Threes are status-seekers, Sevens are pleasure-seekers. Sevens tend to have a strong materialistic streak and find comfort in owning stuff. Of course, they often want the cool new stuff, and coolness is generally a socially defined concept, but the comfort this stuff gives them is that they can use it to fill their lives with thrills and stimulations. Threes, on the other hand, want to be praised more than anything else. Of course, in our society, praise is often linked to the ability to have material possessions (prizes, wealth, etc.) but for Threes stuff matters mostly for what it means for their status.

Action

Both Threes and Sevens can be very hard and efficient workers. Sevens usually need more clearly to be in a line of work that stimulates them, but lacking this, they can put up with a job they don’t like that will allow them to fuel their extravance. Ultimately, their fear is of finding themselves in a situation of scarcity and being left without options, alone with their pain and a sneaking sense of void, meaninglessness and gloom. Threes tend to pursue paths that they deem themselves good at. Of course, if they like the path, all the better, but Threes can go down career paths they despise as long as they can stand out and gain approval. Their fear is mainly that of failure.

Both Threes and Sevens can have a grandiose sense of self. In Sevens, this is due to their disconnection (momentary or permanent) from the negative side of life, which often lauches them into phases of mania where they can become dangerously foolhardy and have unrealistic feelings of invincibility. Average Threes are grandiose about their sense of self, which is almost the sole reason, together with social or familial conditioning, why they get into careers or other life paths even if they don’t particularly like them, simply because they are looking for something that will give them a recognition they deem adequate to their view of themselves.

Ultimately, the grandiosity of an average Three does not blind them to reality, but merely fuels their plans, while the grandiosity of a Seven tends pravail in particularly unbalanced phases of their life and can cause them to make grave blunders (again, it is like a mania).

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Three and Type Six

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Enneagram Type Three and Enneagram Type Six are generally quite different, so much so that they are each other’s arrow: Threes grow at Six, Sixes stress at Three. Threes are a Heart type and they crave recognition of their talent and worth, while Sixes are a Head type and need security and certainty.

Both types are affable, but in quite different ways. Threes are more assertive and want to impress others with the rabbits they can pull out of their hat (the exact rabbit depending on the context). Sixes tend to prove themselves dependable and friendly so as to elicit positive and protective feelings in others while avoiding the dangers of a hostile environment.

Sixes generally want to quickly sort you out as either a danger or a dependable ally, but once you are in the latter camp they will often go the extra mile for you. Threes on the other hand are more competitive, so depending on the context they will go for your jugular if it means emerging victorious and winning the prize. Of course they can be good friends like anyone else, but because they are used to setting aside their emotions to reach their goal, they can be just as competitive against a colleague they are usually friendly with outside of work, assuming the colleague will behave the same way.

Other People

Threes are often concerned with image for image’s sake, and understand that, especially in a social context, one is supposed to wear a mask, while Sixes are terrified at the prospect of someone presenting them with a fake facade that doesn’t correspond to reality. They’d rather be told the ugly truth than be left hanging. In this, though, they can become paranoid and obsessively questioning, in a way that average Threes, who understand the importance of propriety and playing one’s role well, usually don’t become.

Paradoxically, Sixes, a Head type, are far more volatile and emotional than Threes, a Heart type. This is because Threes have learned to suppress their Heart energy, so they come off as cool and collected, like they’ve got it together. Sixes, however, have suppressed their Head energy, so they cannot trust their thinking process and are therefore often prey to strong emotions, so they come off as somewhat insecure.

Ultimately, Threes are focused on achieving status and therefore on drawing attention on them, while Sixes generally shy away from the limelight to avoid exposing themselves to possible dangers. When they do strive for recognition, it is often because they feel this is the best avenue to security in a particular context.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Three and Type Five

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Enneagram Type Three and Enneagram Type Five are quite different and are not easily mistaken. Threes are a Heart type, whose main preoccupation is recognition of their merits and outstanding qualities. Fives are a Head type, and they focus on security, which they achieve by withdrawing from the world and identifying with their intellectual prowess.

Threes are usually driven, adaptable and outgoing, while Fives tend to be withdrawn, aloof and preoccupied solely with what’s between their ears. While many Threes may seek recognition in whatever field they have a shot at succeeding in, Fives rarely care about social approval and in fact may go out of their way to defend outlandish ideas to scandalize their peers.

This paradoxically makes Threes better fits for places like the academia, since they are more likely to be performance-oriented, adhere to social conventions and run with the Zeitgeist rather than against it. On the other hand, Fives tend to be more original and deep, almost deriving pride from how offbeat and weird their ideas may sound, sometimes to the detriment of clarity.

Mind

Socially, the two types couldn’t be more distant. Even more reserved Threes are generally good at reading social cues and put a good deal of thought into making a good impression or being appropriate, while Fives tend to dislike people and their expectations, so much so that they seek to reduce their expectations toward people as a way to avoid having expectations placed on them. What many Fives fail to understand is that expectations are a natural part of our social existence, so while blind compliance is not necessarily good, there is something important about social interactions that Threes understand on an intuitive level and from which Fives may learn.

Both Threes and Fives have a hard time processing their emotions. Both see them as distractions: Threes see them as distractions from working on success, while Fives see them as distractions from a clear and objective view of reality. However, Threes usually display emotions in social contexts if it seems like the appropriate thing to do, while Fives generally remain aloof. In general, there is a “See? I’m hitting all the right notes!” attitude to Threes and a “Let’s get this over with quickly so I can go back to my own thing” attitude to Fives.

MQS