I just had an enlightening conversation with a user who read through the Enneagram section of the blog. They said they have spent a lot of time thinking and reflecting about what type they may be, but aside from excluding one of two types they haven’t made much progress. I want to give my two cents about the issue.
First off, the process of discovering one’s type can last quite a bit. It took me a few months to reduce the choice to either Four or Five, and then a couple of years to understand I am a Five. The magical thing about the Enneagram is that the discovery of one’s type is only the beginning of the journey. The Enneagram is not meant to be yet another checkbox in our bio, though unfortunately it is often reduced to it. Unlike many other personality systems, though, the Enneagram is less a pigeonhole than a map. With this in mind, there’s nothing wrong with taking one’s time.
Secondly, and crucially, often we think way too much about the Enneagram and are mesmerized by it. Sometimes we cease to see reality and we start substituting people–unique individuals–with Enneagram types, and that’s not very helpful, nor is it the aim of the Enneagram. More importantly, when thinking about our type, we tend to intellectualize it overmuch and we get lost in a sea of minutiae. The intellectual side of ourselves must be engaged in the process of discovery (I have nothing to share with the cheap antiintellectualism of the so-called spiritual community), but it cannot be the only criterion.
In reality, our Enneagram type is often most evident when we are not thinking about the Enneagram, because it is ingrained into our everyday behavior, from which we lapse when we start thinking about it with detachment. This is the reason some people say you absolutely need someone else to tell you your type. It is not necessarily true, but there is certainly an advantage to having someone who really knows the Enneagram observe you dispassionately for a while.
In the absence of such a person, the best way sometimes is to just go about our everyday life normally, while keeping the Enneagram just in the back of our mind and occasionally checking in, but without going into overdrive about interpreting our behavior, unless some serious a-ha moment takes place.
Our Enneagram type is sometimes obvious, and sometimes it’s a surprise. It has nothing to do with what type we want to be (I know quite a few people who have deluded themselves into thinking they are Fives because they think they are ‘deep intellectuals’, or Fours because they think they are ‘original and unique’, and or, or or…) Unfortunately, in the abstraction of our own mind, logic can be put in the service of glamour and we may be led astray.
MQS
