Tag Archives: funny stories

The Circumstances of Greatness

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From the Microcosmicon, 30:

Finding the draft card in my mail, I knew I had to flee. I had so much to live for. Not that I’d ever done anything with my life, but I wanted the option.

I stole a military pod and left Alpha-Fenoler. For months I survived on freeze-dried food in the great star-washed nothingness.

Then a ship appeared. My capsule was pulled in. I panicked. They’d call me a traitor! I’d be quartered!

But they were not Alpha-Fenolerians. They were from the Interstellar Reconstruction Forum. They hailed me as a hero for preserving Alpha-Fenolerian DNA to repopulate my war-consumed planet.

MQS

The circumstances of greatness

Blending In With The Locals

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From the Microcosmicon, 29:

“They celebrate the day of their birth?” Tannuz asked, puzzled, as he adjusted his holographic camouflage. Humans were delicious, but also easily startled.
“Yup. Help me with the card,” Xondon said.

Tannuz thought about it, then scribbled something.
“What do you think?”
“It just says ‘Happy Birthday,’” Xondon mumbled, “be more creative or they’ll become suspicious.”
Tannuz got back to work.
“Better?”
“’Happy Birthday, hope it’s the best.’ Ok… But wouldn’t that imply the next one’s gonna be worse?”
Tannuz corrected the card again.

“Now?”
“’Happy Birthday, hope it’s the best (and last) one!’ Perfect! No one will suspect anything!”

MQS

blending in with the locals