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Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons – Type Four and Type Nine

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Enneagram Type Four and Enneagram Type Nine can occasionally appear similar, but are actually quite different. Fours are a Heart type, and are primarily concerned with finding someone who will see them in their woundedness. Nines are a Body type, and are focused especially on maintaining their own independence, which they achieve by avoiding causing trouble with other people.

Broadly speaking, both types tend to have a vivid inner life, though Fours generally entertain negative emotions and often play intense, tragic, tear-jerking scenarios in their minds to evoke certain feelings. On the contrary, Nines often become lost in vague and comforting ideas that they play again and again to be reassured that all is well.

Both types tend to be withdrawn, but in vastly different ways. Nines are withdrawn in the sense that they often suppress their own energy and agenda in order to avoid it colliding with that of others. As such, they appear accomodating and self-denying, though it is common knowledge that Nines generally employ a high degree of passive resistance to sabotage other people’s attempt at heralding change into their life. Still, their way of withdrawing their energy can make them appear (even to themselves) friendly and welcoming.

Fours, on the other hand, are withdrawn because they feel they don’t belong and are too broken to be understood. They tend to long for meaningful contact but at the same time despair of finding it. Their strategy is often of attracting people who will see them as suffering. Though they are often quiet, their emotional storminess at times of distress puts off others, whom they are usually not afraid of inconveniencing if it means letting them know how the Four truly feels.

Both Fours and Nines tend to have a hard time finding their “center”. Fours often struggle with their own identity (believing that they are the only ones with such problems) and generally end up playing up certain aspects of their inner life (especially negative traits or emotions) in an attempt to conjure up a stable identity. Nines also find it hard to have a defined identity, but more in the sense that they have few clearly set boundaries toward other people’s agendas and desires. They often end up flowing along with others (as long as the others also don’t rock the boat), something Fours find almost impossible to do.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Four and Type Five

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Enneagram Type Four and Enneagram Type Five are, on paper, extremely different, yet they end up sharing a number of similarities. Fours are a Heart type whose main focus is on what makes them uniquely deficient in life and on attracting someone who will see them and love them in their brokenness. Fives are a Head type, preoccupied with security and with trying to overcome their ineptitude in facing life’s unpredictability and problems.

Fives are on the quest for pure objectivity, completely devoid of the dross of personal belief, feeling, hopes and desires. Fours are possibly the most subjective type in the Enneagram, whose attention always goes to their particular emotional reaction to life.

Both Fours and Fives share an often deeply negative view of reality and have no problem facing the dark side of life. Both are individualistic and ‘odd’ by social standards and don’t care if what they do or say isn’t accepted or common. Fours tend to defy conventions because they are primarily concerned with being true to themselves, while Fives defy conventions because they derive pleasure from the iconoclastic process of disruption. Fours are primarily existentialists, Fives are primarily nihilists, though of course there is some overlap.

Both types interpret the theme of aloneness, albeit in different ways. Type Four represents the single heart, with its ability to feel, to explore emotions of all shades and to create worlds of great beauty and meaning, longing for someone or something. Type Five is the single mind, with its ability to think, to explore concepts of all degrees of subtlety and to erect magnificent cathedrals of philosophical thought, only to smash them to bits like a kid would a sand castle.

Individual

For both types it is extremely important to be given space for self-expression, both dislike canned views and highly value individualism and creativity, and both types find themselves by difference from the world around them: Fours feel they are uniquely flawed and are on a quest to find themselves, their identity and their meaning, Fives feel that they can’t count on anything or anyone but their own mind and are on a quest to crack open the ultimate secrets of life.

That being said, there are also a number of differences. Fives are rarely very expressive of their feelings (which doesn’t mean they don’t have them), unless they have worked a lot on themselves, and even then it is often a conscious exercise. Fours are naturally expressive and they are capable of great emotional honesty in all circumstances, even if it’s uncomfortable for others. On the other hand, Fives are naturally cool-headed and always cut through endless layers of emotional nonsense in one fell swoop to reach the logical core of any situation, while Fours can only do so by consciously learning to disengage from their emotional reactions when it is not helpful to cling to them.

Even the way the two types are self-oriented is different. Fours are self-oriented because they relate everything to their experience of life, their pain, their longings, their particular idiosyncrasies, etc. Fives are self-oriented because they relate everything to their own ability to analyze it, without automatically accepting what anyone else has to say about it.

Both types tend toward pessimism, but with different motivations and implications. Fours are pessimistic about themselves and their life, believing they are unlucky or broken or that they have messed up somehow. Fives tend to be cosmic pessimists, that is, they observe the nature of things in a pessimistic or nihilistic light.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Three and Type Nine

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Enneagram Type Three and Enneagram Type Nine are quite different in almost all regards, so much so that they are each other’s arrow on the Enneagram symbol. Threes are a Heart type and are focused on gaining validation and approval for their merits and talents, while Nines are a Body type, concerned with independence, which they try to scure by not causing trouble with others.

Threes are highly driven, ambitious and combative, and they want to excel and to emerge above others as worthy of praise. By contrast, Nines tend to be meek, easygoing, conciliatory and ready to take a step back to allow others to shine.

More deeply, Threes have accepted a certain image of themselves which has been handed down to them by society or parental figures and they run with it until it brings them validation (or a nervous breakdown). Nines, on the other hand, often suppress their own individuality, their own priorities and their own agenda for fear of it setting them on a collision course with others. This is not to say that Nines are inert: they can lead very active lives, but they are usually undemanding and unwilling to stand out for their own sake.

Identity

Surprisingly, the two types do have one similarity. Threes often fight with the inner feeling of not truly knowing who they are, a troubling sensation that the image they submit to the world for a stamp of approval does not truly encapsulate them. Usually they try not to think too much about it, which is in part why they are so driven and motivated in accomplishing their goals, but when this feeling catches up to them it can lead them to an identity crisis.

Nines can also find it hard to pinpoint themselves, but for a different reason: they instinctively feel that to emerge as an individual with a specific identity or mission means cutting themselves off from an all-encompassing merging with a greater whole, whether this greater whole be God, a social group, married life, etc. In other words, Threes may not know who they are and fear this sensation, while Nines dread having a sharp separate identity pushed onto them.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Three and Type Eight

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Enneagram Type Three and Enneagram Type Eight share a number of traits that can make them similar in some contexts. Threes are a Heart type and focus on obtaining recognition for their talents. Eights are a Body type and concentrate on establishing and defending their own independence. Both types are action-oriented, energetic and highly driven, but there are also some key differences.

Both Threes and Eights want to tower over others and emerge, and therefore develop a strong character and sharp and even ruthless strategies. Furthermore, both enjoy admiration. However, Threes want to emerge above others in order to comply with some kind of ideal image of themselves as perfect or excellent, and this image is usually dictated by social, or at least familial, standards. In this sense, Threes are social comformists and fear public rejection greatly.

Eights, by contrast, care little about the court of public opinion and are more maverick-like in their demeanor. While they do like being admired, they can content themselves fearful awe they need to. Their focus is on forcing their own particular energy onto the world, leading it on a leash so as to neutralize its power on them.

leadership

Compared to average Threes, average Eights are less refined and tend to have a “me use club against you” mentality, whereas Threes are sharper and can be more underhanded. Note that this has nothing to do with intelligence (which is independent of type) but with how one’s energy is directed. Eights’ energy bursts vehemently and directly outward, and as long as it knocks down the adversary, all is well, while Threes are more strategic because, ultimately, their source of energy is outside of them, locked inside the social expectations they seek to fulfill.

Another great difference stems from the fact that Eights have a visceral connection to ideas such as justice and truth. Similarly to some other types, Eights feel they are authentic and true and immediately just and fair, while Threes often panic at the idea of being unmasked as fraudsters peddling a scam, even when there is no apparent cause. Neither of these worldviews is necessarily true, but Eights embody their chosen role immediately, while Threes often feel they are wearing a mask and are generally unable to say what’s underneath it, so they hope to sell it well to others.

Both Eights and Threes can be very good leaders. Of the two, Eights tend to more authentically look out for their proteges’ interests, often going out of their way and to great pains to make life easier or better for them. Threes tend to give the good example, and relish in being seen as role models. Although they are of course capable of caring deeply for others, average Threes are less likely to be willing to do something for them if it means stepping out of the limelight. On the other hand, they are more image conscious than Eights, and can teach this awareness to others.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Three and Type Five

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Enneagram Type Three and Enneagram Type Five are quite different and are not easily mistaken. Threes are a Heart type, whose main preoccupation is recognition of their merits and outstanding qualities. Fives are a Head type, and they focus on security, which they achieve by withdrawing from the world and identifying with their intellectual prowess.

Threes are usually driven, adaptable and outgoing, while Fives tend to be withdrawn, aloof and preoccupied solely with what’s between their ears. While many Threes may seek recognition in whatever field they have a shot at succeeding in, Fives rarely care about social approval and in fact may go out of their way to defend outlandish ideas to scandalize their peers.

This paradoxically makes Threes better fits for places like the academia, since they are more likely to be performance-oriented, adhere to social conventions and run with the Zeitgeist rather than against it. On the other hand, Fives tend to be more original and deep, almost deriving pride from how offbeat and weird their ideas may sound, sometimes to the detriment of clarity.

Mind

Socially, the two types couldn’t be more distant. Even more reserved Threes are generally good at reading social cues and put a good deal of thought into making a good impression or being appropriate, while Fives tend to dislike people and their expectations, so much so that they seek to reduce their expectations toward people as a way to avoid having expectations placed on them. What many Fives fail to understand is that expectations are a natural part of our social existence, so while blind compliance is not necessarily good, there is something important about social interactions that Threes understand on an intuitive level and from which Fives may learn.

Both Threes and Fives have a hard time processing their emotions. Both see them as distractions: Threes see them as distractions from working on success, while Fives see them as distractions from a clear and objective view of reality. However, Threes usually display emotions in social contexts if it seems like the appropriate thing to do, while Fives generally remain aloof. In general, there is a “See? I’m hitting all the right notes!” attitude to Threes and a “Let’s get this over with quickly so I can go back to my own thing” attitude to Fives.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Three and Type Four

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Enneagram Type Three and Enneagram Type Four are quite different from one another, and don’t have much in common. Both are Heart types and are concerned with recognition: Threes seek to emerge and be outstanding according to the standards they have internalized, while Fours feel they can’t compare with others and seek to attract a special someone who will rescue them from their misery.

Even on the surface the two types project very different images. Threes have the aura of the winner about them, they are usually at ease in social settings and are focused on good performance. Fours are quiet and melancholic, they easily feel out of place or wrong and are focused on emotional depth and being true to themselves.

Of course, because Threes are so versatile, they can end up looking like other types, especially if we define the types narrowly, like “Fours are artists”. However, Threes are always interested in achieving and doing, including in the artistic world, whereas Fours care very little about performance if it comes at the expense of their ability to explore their inner world. In this, a Three is likely to behave in a shallower, but also more practical manner.

Competition

In general, Fours are at ease in the world of their emotions, and the darker, the better, whereas Threes tend to see emotions as a waste of time to be dealt with either quickly or later. Furthermore, Fours are usually quite pessimistic about themselves and their chances, and they tend to pine about some wasted opportunity or lost happiness, while Threes are pragmatic go-getters who create opportunities and have a high degree of confidence in their abilities and chances.

Threes focus on what’s appropriate, Fours on what’s real, Threes win others over, Fours withdraw in hopes of being sought, Threes feel superior, Fours feel inferior, Threes want to be envied, Fours envy, Threes are conventional, Fours are authentic and so on. Both types can be competitive, Threes because they have been taught to adapt to a standard of excellence, Four because they have a strongly comparative mindset (“You have what I will always lack”) but Threes feel they can beat the competition, while Fours often feel they are doomed to lose.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Comparisons | Type Two and Type Nine

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Enneagram Type Two and Enneagram Type Nine are very similar, and it can be hard to tell them apart at first glance. Twos are a Heart type, and desire above all else to be important to someone else in order to receive their validation. Nines are a Body type, and are mainly concerned with independence, which they achieve by not creating trouble with others and by not letting others trouble them.

The main source of similarity is the fact that both Twos and Nines tend to be likeable, positive, nurturing and motherly toward others. Twos shower the object of their desire with attentions to the point that all but the most hardened thugs fall for their advances. Nines are extremely friendly and easily get along with others, often letting them express themselves and their gifts, but they don’t necessarily relentlessly pursue others to fulfill an emotional need.

This is, however, also where the two types diverge. Twos are extremely specific in the way they take care of someone, while Nines almost operate under a generic ‘good neighbors’ policy with most people. When describing both types, the word ‘merging‘ gets thrown around a lot, but Twos are very picky with the people they want to merge with, and their aim for merging is to have their self-worth mirrored to them by someone they consider suitable, while Nines tend to dissipate their own personal energy and to vaguely merge with the world at large, with the aim of not being bothered.

Merging

Both types tend to have a hard time expressing their own wants and needs. Twos often subconsciously projects them onto others (“Are you hungry?” usually means “I’m hungry”) because they feel the only way for them to get their needs met is to meet those of another person. Nines, on the other hand, often find it hard to find their own center as individuals with well-defined agenda and set of goals.

In this respect, Twos are much more intense and demanding than Nines, who in turn are much harder to pin down and grasp. Twos have an inflated sense of self (though they probably don’t think they do), while Nines are self-effacing and consider themselves regular folks. Furthermore, frustrated Twos who feel they are failing in achieving the kind of connection they crave with someone may resort to underhanded tactics of active manipulation, whereas Nines rarely manipulate others actively. If anything, Nines usually oppose a passive resistance to other people’s agendas, making them waste time and effort until they give up and everything becomes calm and serene again.

MQS

Enneagram, Spirituality and Psychology

Enneagram Type Five – Growth and Stress

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Enneagram Type Five, sometimes called the Observer, belongs to the Head triad. Those of this Enneatype are often recognizable for their tendency to withdraw from social contact and interaction with the world in order to observe it and accumulate knowledge and understanding. Fives tend to have a sense of energetic dearth, as though their inner resources weren’t enough for them to meaningfully impact the world, or even just to be in the world. Highly intellectual, they value objectivity and facts, which they often recombine in new and creative way, and are generally unsentimental and unbothered by social conventions.

Enneagram Type Five

Enneatype Five Grows: Move to Eight

Many Fives report that at some point they realized they were going through life as though they were constantly getting prepared for it, with the result that when they felt ready, life was already over. This is an understandably heartbreaking situation to be in, so it’s vital that Fives come to terms with it as soon as possible in order to live life before it’s gone.

A large chunk of a Five’s growth path comes from understanding that it is ok to get started without knowing everything, and that their marvelous mental abilities will inevitably go to waste if they don’t cultivate them in a practical setting and in the midst of real life action. Ultimately, Fives’ tendency to withdraw from others, withhold their presence and accumulate knowledge is a defense mechanism against fear, but as long as they withdraw they reinforce the implicit notion that the world is so fear-inducing that it must be seen from a distance.

The only way to break the cycle is for Fives to gradually let go of their tendency to let go of the world (it’s a letting go of the letting go) and to dive into it and take full charge of their body and their instincts, taking up space and showing up. In doing this, they start to embody the better qualities of Enneagram Type Eight, the most physically expansive and assertive of the nine type. Interestingly, Eights, like Fives, deal a lot with the idea of truth, but Eights have an instinctive awareness of it, whereas Fives have an analytical understanding of it.

In allowing their insights to take physical form, Fives reduce their tendency to detach from reality and become capable of bringing their objectivity and knowledge to fruition. Their ability to let go of things is used not to renounce the world, but to experience it all equally in all its transient permutations. Detachment thus becomes non-attachment.

Non-Attachment, the virtue of Enneagram Type Five

Enneatype Five under Stress: Move to Seven

Fives generally hate having to jump into things without preparation. They tend to plan ahead as if they possessed half the energy, time and resources they actually have and often don’t communicate their thoughts unless they have had the time to polish, proof and justify them. This is why going to war with a Five in a field they know a lot about is often a lost cause: they are always five or six steps ahead in the argument.

But, as much as they would like to be omniscient, Fives aren’t. The world is too complex to hold it all inside one’s mind before one ventures into it (which is how Fives get started on their journey of observation.) Variables are bound to intrude into one’s views. More importantly, Fives may not always have the chance to step back from quickly unfolding situations to take a breath and organize their mental response.

When this happens, Fives may initially still try to withdraw, but if their usual strategy becomes impossible, it is not uncommon to see them make fools of themselves, like unhealthy Sevens. This is not because Fives (or Sevens, for that matter) are actually fools, but because they panic at the prospect of not being able to employ their typical strategy.

Often, Fives that move to Seven under stress become volatile, scattered, given to missing the mark with odd jokes or comments. Because they haven’t had the time to establish clear boundaries within which they feel secure, they become erratic and aimless, thus lending credence to their own worst fear of being incompetent and needing to withdraw even further.

MQS