Enneagram Type Three, sometimes called the Achiever, belongs to the Heart triad. People of this type are dynamic, goal-oriented, driven to excel and stand out. Threes are often very aware of what it takes to have success in a certain field, social situation or career path, and they often do all they can to meet whatever idea of success is implied in these contexts. Because of this intense drive, Threes tend to have problems with competitiveness, as well as with authenticity, as they are used to putting their true self and their true feelings on the back burner while they strive their utmost to comply with expectations and to sell an image of themselves as winners.
Enneatype Three Grows: Move to Six
Threes are the ‘sellers’ of the Enneagram. While in the presence of an average to unhealthy Three, perceptive people tend to constantly have the feeling that the person is trying to sell them something. This something can vary based on the context of the interaction, but deep down, what Threes are trying to sell is their successful, socially acceptable image of winners.
As they learn that their worth as individuals cannot be measured purely on the basis of performance, Threes may at first find themselves in a bit of a crisis, as they are not used to giving weight to much else. However, as they become more centered, they learn to become more accepting of their true feelings and identity, to see others as companions rather than as competitors and to value honesty above presentation.
In doing so, Threes move toward Enneatype Six. Sixes are inherently companionable, they tend to form strong connections based on trust and they put great emphasis on truthfulness and doing away with double meanings and sophistication. This is because Sixes want to know how things really are, so as to be able to trust them.
In their move to Six, Threes often find meaning in the forging of meaningful connections and in striving together toward common goals, while the need to emerge is transmuted into the desire to uplift others together with oneself.
Enneatype Three Under Stress: Move to Nine
The kind of drive that Enneagram Type Three tends to inject into everything they do is rarely matched by any other type. Threes have a sense of mission in them, as it were: they are the chosen ones to be the best, the prettiest, the most admirable, the most intelligent, the most wealthy, the most creative, the most spiritual, etc. (which of these it is largely depends on their upbringing, familial context and personal values and beliefs)
In their most lucid moments, Threes also have a keen awareness of all that they are sacrificing in their bid to excel and outshine everyone else. What they know they are sacrificing is their authenticity, their inner well-being, their emotional needs. There is often a lurking feeling that all is in vain, because even if they manage to succeed in whatever field they choose (or is chosen for them) their inner self is not truly part of it, having been swept under the rug for later.
This often brings a sense to unease, as though a part of the Three were aware of their commitment to a mere facade with little substance. This may cause them to break down or have identity crises on occasion. And this is even when they succeed.
When they don’t succeed, Threes may try to switch horses and find something else to excel at. If they don’t find it, they may become apathetic and lethargic, like unhealthy Nines. Aware that nothing matters and that all avenues for social acceptance have been destroyed, they may retreat into themselves and simply let the world and life move about them without engaging in them, knowing that they have sacrificed their well-being for something that brought nothing.
MQS
