Enneagram Type Three and Enneagram Type Nine are quite different in almost all regards, so much so that they are each other’s arrow on the Enneagram symbol. Threes are a Heart type and are focused on gaining validation and approval for their merits and talents, while Nines are a Body type, concerned with independence, which they try to scure by not causing trouble with others.

Threes are highly driven, ambitious and combative, and they want to excel and to emerge above others as worthy of praise. By contrast, Nines tend to be meek, easygoing, conciliatory and ready to take a step back to allow others to shine.

More deeply, Threes have accepted a certain image of themselves which has been handed down to them by society or parental figures and they run with it until it brings them validation (or a nervous breakdown). Nines, on the other hand, often suppress their own individuality, their own priorities and their own agenda for fear of it setting them on a collision course with others. This is not to say that Nines are inert: they can lead very active lives, but they are usually undemanding and unwilling to stand out for their own sake.

Surprisingly, the two types do have one similarity. Threes often fight with the inner feeling of not truly knowing who they are, a troubling sensation that the image they submit to the world for a stamp of approval does not truly encapsulate them. Usually they try not to think too much about it, which is in part why they are so driven and motivated in accomplishing their goals, but when this feeling catches up to them it can lead them to an identity crisis.

Nines can also find it hard to pinpoint themselves, but for a different reason: they instinctively feel that to emerge as an individual with a specific identity or mission means cutting themselves off from an all-encompassing merging with a greater whole, whether this greater whole be God, a social group, married life, etc. In other words, Threes may not know who they are and fear this sensation, while Nines dread having a sharp separate identity pushed onto them.

MQS