Enneagram Type Three and Enneagram Type Four are quite different from one another, and don’t have much in common. Both are Heart types and are concerned with recognition: Threes seek to emerge and be outstanding according to the standards they have internalized, while Fours feel they can’t compare with others and seek to attract a special someone who will rescue them from their misery.

Even on the surface the two types project very different images. Threes have the aura of the winner about them, they are usually at ease in social settings and are focused on good performance. Fours are quiet and melancholic, they easily feel out of place or wrong and are focused on emotional depth and being true to themselves.

Of course, because Threes are so versatile, they can end up looking like other types, especially if we define the types narrowly, like “Fours are artists”. However, Threes are always interested in achieving and doing, including in the artistic world, whereas Fours care very little about performance if it comes at the expense of their ability to explore their inner world. In this, a Three is likely to behave in a shallower, but also more practical manner.

In general, Fours are at ease in the world of their emotions, and the darker, the better, whereas Threes tend to see emotions as a waste of time to be dealt with either quickly or later. Furthermore, Fours are usually quite pessimistic about themselves and their chances, and they tend to pine about some wasted opportunity or lost happiness, while Threes are pragmatic go-getters who create opportunities and have a high degree of confidence in their abilities and chances.

Threes focus on what’s appropriate, Fours on what’s real, Threes win others over, Fours withdraw in hopes of being sought, Threes feel superior, Fours feel inferior, Threes want to be envied, Fours envy, Threes are conventional, Fours are authentic and so on. Both types can be competitive, Threes because they have been taught to adapt to a standard of excellence, Four because they have a strongly comparative mindset (“You have what I will always lack”) but Threes feel they can beat the competition, while Fours often feel they are doomed to lose.

MQS