Enneagram Type Two and Enneagram Type Four share one great similarity: that of being the most emotionally intense types of the Enneagram. Otherwise, they are starkly different, so much so that they are each other’s arrow: Twos grow at Four, Fours stress at Two. Both are Heart types, concerned with recognition. Twos seek it by taking care of others in order to be seen as loveable and important, while Fours by playing Sleeping Beauty to attract a Prince(ess) Charming with their tragic and beautiful story.

As said, both Twos and Fours are extremely emotional and place great importance on feelings and on emotional connection. Twos tend to have a positive outlook and are usually cheerful, and are generally the rescuers. They chase the other, arms held wide open, and are incredibly good at persuading them to abandon themselves to the embrace of love.

By contrast, Fours are much more familiar with the darker side of their psyche. Being the Eeyore’s of the Enneagram, they mope, pine and hold aloof in other people’s presence. Furthermore, because they envy other people’s ease in life, even average Fours may have a mean streak, as they usually feel unjustly victimized by life and therefore pushed either into the role of the rescued princess or that of the tragic villain (see Jago in Shakespeare’s Othello, Salieri in Amadeus or even Satan in Paradise Lost)

Interpersonal connectivity is incredibly important to both types, but with different results. Twos find it easy to connect with others and immediately “merge” with them. Fours would love to find someone to merge with, but find that they are deficient in something and this deficiency prevents them from being seen, understood, loved. Ultimately, Twos are quite at ease in the world, Fours definitely aren’t. Twos relate easily to others, Fours find it almost impossible. Twos are horrified at the prospect of loneliness, Fours are resigned to it.

MQS